Upon our return V had his four year check up scheduled with his pediatrician. She asked him a bunch of questions, checked on his progress and then told me that she believed that he needed to be evaluated for speech. She believed that by this time he should have been clearer with some of the words. She proceeded to give me two contact numbers, one of which was the school district testing, which she said was free. This was one of the best pieces of advice we have received. Not only did we not know that a child can be tested while in preschool, we had no idea how behind he was not just on speech but also on a bunch of other developmental milestones. The past year's problems had taken its toll on his brain as well as his physical development.
From being in the 90th percentile for height from the time he was born, he was now in the 80th percentile (by his seven year check up he was down to 50th percentile). He had, however, grown in height and weight so the pediatrician did say it was fine and showed us the graph.
I called the district office as well as the private number. The district office called back after a few days and a month later his testing was scheduled. Not just that, but when the speech analyst asked the reason for the pediatrician's referral, she said that with epilepsy she believed he needed to undergo a complete testing – was that alright with me? Of course, it was alright because I wasn't the expert – she was. Not only are we grateful for this step that took place but also for the school district we were living in – we have come across some incredible people, each of whom has contributed in no small way to V's development.
For the testing, the analyst did say that it had to be done in the morning. I did let her know that the mornings were his worst phase but she said that we would see how much we could do. For the first part of the testing we were allowed to stay in the room. That is when I first realized that his memory and vocabulary had been impacted severely. He could not recognize the same pictures he used to know and the words he used to know. He could not recall any of them. He barely could recognize any of the pictures. For the second part of the testing we were not in the room – for sorting and other things. There was more testing which involved the psychologist and their visit to the daycare to see him in the regular environment. The analysis of the results took a very long time – months – I think at the time there was just one person doing the scheduling and the testing and follow-up. The case load was obviously too much.
We got introduced to new terms – IEP, SDC amongst several others. It was recommended that V attend one of the special day classes – we were asked to check out the classroom. This was followed by a few weeks of checking out the classrooms and the different options. Finally, we decided to give V a shot at the summer school special day class – it was four weeks and only mornings. At lunch, I would take him to his regular daycare/preschool and he would spend a couple of hours there, which is what V wanted. I had given him the choice – to come home or spend some of the afternoon with his old class. This showed me that the daycare was still his secure place – a place he could still call home and go back to. The fact was that by that time he didn't really have friends – he was different and was not like the other kids. A couple of the girls used to play well with him. He didn't have qualms as to whether or not the friend had to be a boy. He did get along very well with the staff who were excellent to him and we continue going every vacation to say hi to them. Even today, the biggest issue remains his social dealings. He is able to charm the adults all the time. It is going to make friends amongst his peers.
Not only was his vocabulary not at par, he had speech processing problems - when told something or asked a question he needed time to evaluate what was said; he may not be comprehending it a great deal of times - to think that the previous year he had really suffered because none of this was known and people expected him to respond right away. He wasn't intentionally being stupid; when he would get frustrated, he would act up.
Even today, V needs processing time when asked a question or given a direction to follow. One needs to be patient and give him some time to absorb, analyse and respond.
The testing also showed that he needed a great deal of Occupational Therapy(OT) – his hands had a distinct tremor and his fine motor skills were really impacted. Whether or not he could ever right or would always need a computer remained a question. Academically, he could barely recognize letters and he could not remember his color labels. Bringing up this child was going to be very different from his sister – it gave us a whole new perspective and to value and celebrate each child for their differences.
I always think back – if the pediatrician had not recommended his testing – what would have happened? When would we have realized that he needed help on several fronts? How would we have gone about teaching him?
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